(This short essay was written when my daughter finished high school and entered college. My son then was struggling with his third year high school math. My children have both finished now. they are also both married...I suppose this piece is my legacy to highlight my graduation from being a parent and a spouse (or so i thought anyway). This was published in my book, "Days of My Life," 1999)
When i was young, my mom used to tell me that I should learn what i could learn, for me to be equipped with the tools for a brighter future, so that when i seek out my fortune in the world, I have more chances of succeeding.
Now, that I am in the middle of my life, I have realized she only spoke a half-truth. Learning is necessary, yes! But the future is not a distant sometime. Neither is the world out there. Success or fortune is not measured in time, which forever recedes, or in a place which constantly becomes. Rather, it is pouched in each moment and in what i can only own, namely, myself. The world is out there only as a tool for me to test the depth of myself, of my soul, until I reach that stage where I become me, my soul.
So, I've been going through the world, experiencing pain, hurt, love, joy, myriads of willing, thinking, feeling and doing, cleansing myself of vestiges, which make me less than human, rendering the process of purification, until what is only left is me.
It is in the expansion of consciousness and extension of oneself that enables me to conquer the world. It is in this and the learning therefrom that the font of joy could be found. It only becomes elusive because we seek it elsewhere.
(That's funny, because people are born, grow into the world and die of old age, missing the whole point of being here - taking a lifetime.)
I shall continue to be in this world, will go back if i have to, until afer i learned my lessons that go with it. To put it more appropriately: the world, as it appears to me, exists because i need it for my self-development. When the moment comes that i become master, the world vanishes and i have to move on to another world.
Cesar
January 27,1991
When i was young, my mom used to tell me that I should learn what i could learn, for me to be equipped with the tools for a brighter future, so that when i seek out my fortune in the world, I have more chances of succeeding.
Now, that I am in the middle of my life, I have realized she only spoke a half-truth. Learning is necessary, yes! But the future is not a distant sometime. Neither is the world out there. Success or fortune is not measured in time, which forever recedes, or in a place which constantly becomes. Rather, it is pouched in each moment and in what i can only own, namely, myself. The world is out there only as a tool for me to test the depth of myself, of my soul, until I reach that stage where I become me, my soul.
So, I've been going through the world, experiencing pain, hurt, love, joy, myriads of willing, thinking, feeling and doing, cleansing myself of vestiges, which make me less than human, rendering the process of purification, until what is only left is me.
It is in the expansion of consciousness and extension of oneself that enables me to conquer the world. It is in this and the learning therefrom that the font of joy could be found. It only becomes elusive because we seek it elsewhere.
(That's funny, because people are born, grow into the world and die of old age, missing the whole point of being here - taking a lifetime.)
I shall continue to be in this world, will go back if i have to, until afer i learned my lessons that go with it. To put it more appropriately: the world, as it appears to me, exists because i need it for my self-development. When the moment comes that i become master, the world vanishes and i have to move on to another world.
Cesar
January 27,1991
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