When a generation takes over the previous one, it goes without fanfare. That generation simply knows that it has taken over. What are the tell-tale signs? The previous generation is simply reduced to being grandpa and grandma. Nonetheless, there are those among them who continue to be creative, simultaneously mentoring the next generation, while preparing for old age and eventual passing away.
Each day is closer to my grave and further from my birth. At 50, I am more than halfway from birth. I am not young anymore. Yet, I am not yet as old to not be able to do things for myself.
I have lived a scarred existence. The scars were reminders of the hurts and the outmoded views I had. Like Don Quixote, I had been in search for windmills, longing for peace and quiet.
One day, the twilight of my life will come. Where will I go when I die? “I shall go back where I came from, beyond my birth into this world, beyond my mother’s womb, to the original blueprint of my life stream. The world shall fade from my consciousness, while the learning shall be retained, adding color to the tapestry of my being.” A cycle would be complete, with a possibility for a new cycle in a next lifetime.
By my choice, I married again. My spouse bore three kids, who are younger than five of my seven grandchildren.
Below is a summary of a letter I wrote to my spouse before we were married.
“Each person comes into this world with a purpose. One must learn one’s lessons well. Only in entering and partaking in relationships, experiencing sorrow and joy, pain and contentment, that one can be human. One only lives for eighty years or so, entering at birth and leaving at an old age (or other causes). If one has to depart anyway, let him or her move on trying to fulfill his or her destiny.”
“One thing about destiny and fate is that we are never certain about outcomes. But we do shape our destiny by what we do now. This is karma in progress. We create now and therefore unleash momentums for our future. We all make choices and the choices we make now will affect our lifetime and the generations after us. The choices we make will make a difference in our lives. That is the essence of freedom.”
“Ultimately, nothing outside oneself can help. If peace cannot be found within one’s heart, it is useless to seek it elsewhere. That is a law for one treading the lonely path towards oneself. Be calm; let the storm take its toll. Let the onslaught into your being come. It will shatter your very foundation; will bring out all the weakness and wickedness that you harbor in your heart. It will gobble up all the premises that you have - the unquenched desires or the thirst for things fleeting.”
“Then you will feel the pain of rebirth. You will be extricated from the world of your doing, a cocoon you created for yourself, your temporary haven. The womb will be ruptured and you will be on your own to face a different world (which really comes with your perception). You will again create, but the creation will now be inspired by something more than what you are now; it is your essence being born into the world.”
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